We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
