Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
