Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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