Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize