all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize