I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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