Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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