Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
