So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
