i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
