do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
