she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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