You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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