I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
