i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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