No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Sorry about my life...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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