would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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