Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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