these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
