Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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