I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
