I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
