Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
