When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
