is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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