No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
