I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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