Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
