SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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