Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
