I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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