why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize