we have pet lesbian snakes
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
