I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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