let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
only if we run a train.
done.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
