My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
