Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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