Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
