I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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