He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
