I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
