Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
