I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
