her vagine was all disorganized.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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