Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
