You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize