this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
