Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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