I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
