if you like me you must not know who I am
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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