I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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