They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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