I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
