Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
