so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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