i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
