I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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