I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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