david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my sisters under your porch take her home
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
