I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize