I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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