Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
cat food counts as protein by the way
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
