My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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