So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
