we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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