I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize