He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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