He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
